Love Is A Ghost
by PowerSchlumpfi
Summary: Post 4x11 - After doing shots with Regina, Emma pays her pirate boyfriend a visit at his room at Granny's.


**A/N: I wrote this in the middle of the night, because I felt like writing and because the hiatus seems endless and I don't know what to do with my OTP feels. It's post 4x11 and it's loosely inspired by Christina Perri's _The Words_ (the new CS anthem haha). I was so close to include a bit of smut, but I didn't - I feel like I'm not really good at writing smut. But I'm thinking about making this a two part story and maybe the second part will have some (soft?) smut.  
**

**It's not beta-read and I'm not a native speaker, so please don't be too hard on me.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own OUAT or CS.**

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„Swan! What..." Killian didn't even have the chance to finish his sentence, before Emma wrapped her arms around him and pressed her lips against his. She shoved him backwards into his room and kicked the door shut behind her.

"Mhhmm…" he moaned, trying to bring some space between them, but Emma was persistently clinging on to him and kissing the life out of him.

"Emma." He managed to bring out. "Emma!"

She sighed deeply and pulled away, pouting a little. She looked down and started playing with the hem of his shirt, before shoving one hand underneath it and touching his bare skin with her fingertips. He gasped a bit at her touch and closed his eyes for a second before reaching up and cupping her cheek with his hand.

"Emma, sweetheart, you taste like my flask." He said with an amused smile on his face.

"Yeah, well and you love that thing very much, don't you?" Emma looked up to him, head tilted slightly on the side. Her smile was so sweet and almost innocent that he felt a ball of warmth lodging just beneath his breastbone and he couldn't help pulling her in for a tight hug.

"Regina and I are drinking buddies now." She said against his shoulder, her voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

"Are you, huh?"

"Yup."

Emma pulled back a bit to be able to face him. His eyes were so blue and so full of warmth and love that she felt herself shiver a bit. "I missed you." She whispered, before pulling him down to bring his lips back to hers'.

Her hands slowly wandered down from his shoulders and rested on the spot where his heart was beating steadily, reassuring her that he was still alive. She'd almost lost him. It'd almost been to late. Emma bit his lip a bit to hard as she tried to hold back her tears and he winced a bit, trying to pull back, but she wouldn't let him. She couldn't.

Her hands wandered further down his chest, starting to open the buttons of his shirt. When she was done, she slipped her hands underneath it and wrapped her arms around his bare torso, her fingers stroking gently over his back. He shivered.

"Love, what are you doing?" He asked against her lips and she pulled back with a sigh.

"You know exactly what I'm doing. Finally getting that coffee." She winked and he couldn't help grinning a bit, before shaking his head.

"I'd love to, Emma, you know that, but not like this."

Emma pouted again and furrowed her brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you are drunk and I want you to be in control of all of your senses when we make love for the first time. And I want you to be able to remember every detail."

"Make love? That's cute. You're the first man I've ever heard calling it that."

"What are men calling it in this realm then?"

"Dunno, just 'have sex'? 'Bang'? 'Fuck'?"

Killian frowned and shook his head in disbelief.

"That's bad form. Really bad form to say that to a lady."

Emma giggled and pressed a short kiss against his lips.

"You are sweet. You know that, right?"

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No! I love it! I love…" Emma bit her lip and swallowed hard. _You. _She had almost said it out loud. And if she had there would have been no way to take it back again. Not that she would want to take it back - she just wasn't sure if she was ready. That thing, that relationship between them was still so fresh and fragile and even though she knew she loved him, she truly did, she didn't know if she was ready to say the words just yet.

_She loved him. _It was the first time she even allowed herself to think it and she waited for the wave of anxiety to hit her alcohol-dazed mind, but it never came. She felt different with him. _Safe._

When she looked back up to him she knew that he was well aware of what she'd almost said. But he didn't expect her to say it and he didn't say it himself, because _he understood. _He always understood.

Instead he cupped her cheek and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

"I should bring you home." He said, but Emma shook her head vehemently.

"No! Please. Let me stay."

"But love…" he started.

"No sex. I know." Emma said with a sigh and a playful roll of her eyes. "But I don't wanna go home…and be alone. I almost lost you today."

Killian took a deep breath and nodded, giving her an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, love."

"It wasn't your fault. But I tell you, if Gold ever comes back I'll kick his ass."

"I should never have made that deal with him in the first place. I should've known better… but… I just wanted to be a better man for you, Swan. A man who can hold you with both hands."

"Killian." Emma took his face in both hands and forced him to look her in the eyes. "You really think I care about that?"

"Don't you?"

"Of course not! What I care about is _you_. _You_, just as you are, with or without hook."

Emma could see a few tears gathering in his eyes and she gave him a smile. "I actually find it quite sexy, you know?"

"Gods, Emma." Killian wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair, _the words _lingering on the tip of his tongue, but left unspoken. "How do I even deserve you?"

"You are a good man, Killian. And it's time you started believing that yourself. Look, you've made mistakes. I get that. But so did I. So did my mother. So did my father. I've seen your heart. It's bright and red and beautiful. There's only this teeny tiny black spot left and guess what? The famous Snow White has one of these, too. It doesn't matter to me what you did or did not do in the past, Killian. All I care about is what you do now and what you've done since you came back with that bean."

Emma swallowed, suddenly feeling fairly sobered up.

A single tear escaped his right eye and Emma wiped it away with the back of her hand. She knew he tried hard not to say it. He wanted to, she could see it in his eyes, but he didn't, simply _because _it was true; because he didn't want to scare her and because he knew her better than she knew herself.

Emma closed her eyes for a few seconds and struggled with herself. It was so early in their relationship and she wasn't one to just blurt it out (even though she'd almost done that only minutes ago). She was scared of being vulnerable. But with him, everything felt different. He made her do and feel things she never thought possible.

She started pacing nervously and Killian watched her in confusion.

"Swan?

She cursed under her breath and walked over to his nightstand to steal a sip of rum from his flask. "You make me crazy." She said, leaving him even more confused.

"Why?" he was completely at a loss, not knowing what had suddenly changed her mood.

"Because I LOVE YOU! You damn idiot. I love you!"

And then it was out there.

Emma's heart was racing in her chest as she stared at him, watched his face soften and another tear escaping his eyes. She walked back over to him, took his face in her hands and kissed him gently. Then she looked up into his eyes. "I love you." She whispered and felt him trembling a bit.

"Gods, Emma, you have no idea what you're doing to me."

"That's all you have to say?" Emma smiled teasingly and he shook his head, his eyes serious and full of emotions. He reached up to brush a strand behind her ear and let his hand rest on her cheek.

"Emma Swan, I love you so much. I love you so bloody much."

Emma smiled happily, a wave of warmth spreading through her body.

She was still waiting for the ball of anxiety to hit her, but I didn't come and she felt like a huge weight had suddenly been lifted from her shoulders. It felt good to have it out there. It felt good to know that he knew; and to know that he loved her, too. (She'd known before, of course, but it still felt good to hear it.)

"Are you okay, Swan?" he asked, voice soft and caring. Once again _he just knew. _

"Yeah, I'm fine. More than that, actually." She smiled, looked up to him and found it was true. She was fine. "I love you." It came so easily over her lips now that she felt like she would never stop saying it ever again.

He smiled back at her. "I love you, too."

Then he started shoving her backwards until the back of her knees hit the bed and she fell backwards onto the mattress, shrieking in surprise.

"I thought you said no sex." She said and he grinned smugly.

"And I'll stick to that."

Emma pouted.

"But." He took off his shirt and Emma moved quickly to get out of her boots. "There's nothing wrong with cuddling, is there?"

She smiled as he crawled over her and started kissing her neck.

"No. But these jeans are really uncomfortable. And so is this bra." Emma arched her back and reached under it to open her bra with a quick move and continued to take it off without removing her shirt first. Killian gave her a puzzled look as she pulled her bra out from under her shirt and tossed it aside.

"How did you do that?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Emma grinned.

"Perhaps I would." He leaned down to kiss her; well aware of the reference they'd purposefully made to a conversation they had in Neverland such a long time ago. (At least that's what it felt like.)

He pulled away again when he felt Emma fumbling beneath him.

"You little minx." He said as he saw what she was doing. "You know, I can handle you being half naked in my bed. But perhaps _you _can't handle _me_ being half naked in my bed." He rolled down from her and stood up to take off his pants and Emma watched in awe as he crawled back wearing nothing but his black boxers. She had managed to pull of her jeans, too. Exchanging a smile, they both slipped under the duvet and Emma crawled on top of him, resting her head on his chest and listening to the soothing sound of his steady heartbeat. She loved the feeling of being so close to him, of feeling his skin against hers, his hairy legs tangled with hers and his heartbeat reminding her that he was safe and alive.

He wrapped his arms around her to hold her close and he couldn't believe how lucky he was. He was alive and he had her and _she loved him_ and that was all he needed to know.

"You know, I think I can handle it quite well."

"Yeah…" she whispered against his chest "Me too."

Suddenly, neither of them felt like moving at all. They were together and they were alive that that was all they needed. Everything else could wait.


End file.
